Alex's Asteroid Astrology

You know Dasher and Dancer, and Prancer and Vixen, but do you recall that there are asteroids named Rudolf, Santa and Yule? Though none of these were designated for the holiday they have come to represent, they function very well as markers of its importance in the lives of those who have made Christmas a central focus of their biographies.

In the past, AAA has profiled asteroid Santa in the lives of such figures pivotal to the creation and dissemination of the Santa Claus myth (ooops! Coal in my stocking this year for sure, in dissing the jolly old elf’s existence!) as Clement Clarke Moore (author of “A Visit From Saint Nicholas”); Thomas Nast (nineteenth-century cartoonist who grew Santa from Elfin to Human proportion and gave us many of the elements of Santa’s story, including his North Pole locale); Haddon Sundblom (the Coca-Cola adman who standardized his red-and-white-suited look); and several actors like Edmund Gwen (“Miracle on 34th Street”) and Tim Allen (“The Santa Clause”) who have famously portrayed the yuletide gift-giver on the silver screen.

Asteroid Santa pops up reliably in the charts of those instrumental in crafting the jolly old elf’s image

We’ve also looked at asteroid Rudolf in the lives of those instrumental in the development of the Red-Nosed Reindeer, from Robert L. May, who wrote the first story poem and brought Rudolph into the world; to Johnny Marks, who composed the popular song; Gene Autry, the “Singing Cowboy” who first recorded it; and the Rankin-Bass team who brought us the beloved animated TV special, still aired annually.

We’ve even dissected asteroids Yule and Carol, prominent in the charts of Charles Dickens (author of “A Christmas Carol”), and such Christmas songsters as Irving Berlin (who composed “White Christmas”), Bing Crosby (who first sang it) and such ‘50s and ‘60s holiday music icons as Andy Williams, Johnny Mathis, Nat King Cole and Burl Ives.

Curious readers are encouraged to check out the links above for further details. And for the poetically or feline inclined, I’m presenting my epic Yuletide verse, “A Visit from Santy Claws”, written a decade ago for my fur babies, but not previously published.

Asteroid Rudolf displays prominently in the charts of those who have developed the ruddy-beaked ruminant’s story

But these asteroids aren’t just visible in birth charts, they are ever-present in the skies today, continuing to provide clues to the cosmic forecast for the current holiday season.

It’s hard to imagine a more Jovian figure than Santa Claus, the jolly housebreaker who brings all those lovely presents in the dead of night. That expansive waistline and generous spirit points to Jupiter all right, and with the planet of excess and overindulgence conjoined the 3 Capricorn Sun on Christmas Day 2019, it’s likely to be a period of heady intemperance, hedonism, even greed. Jupiter encourages over-extension and extravagance, so watch those credit card bills before they pile up higher than the star at the top of your tree! Not only does Jupiter at 5 Cap conjoin the Sun, so does asteroid Icarus at 1 Capricorn, so beware risk-taking and recklessness; choose your gifts well – is a carving knife really an appropriate present for a toddler? Does Granny actually need a bikini? Will Uncle Bob be happy with that embroidered SUV seat cover? Think twice, shop once.

Asteroid Santa at 6 Scorpio ties to this grouping by sextile, reinforcing his importance to the day, but also forms a T-Square with Uranus at 2 Taurus and Venus at 6 Aquarius. So stop and ask yourself: WWSG? “What would Santa give?” Tech is always a good choice with Santa tied to Uranus, as is something unexpected or avante garde, futuristic or unique in some way. Venus in the mix argues for cosmetics and beauty aids, fashion items or accessories, sweets and confections, or even that perennial favorite, cold hard cash!

What would the holidays be without the incessant background noise of Christmas songs? Asteroids Yule and Carol harmonize in the charts of those who have brought us these melodies

With asteroids Yule and Carol conjunct at 21 and 19 Virgo, expect even more Christmas melodies than usual, if such a thing were possible. In trine to a Saturn/asteroid Winters/Pluto combination at 20, 21 and 22 Capricorn, songs about snowmen, icy landscapes, and outdoor yuletide pastimes will be in vogue (Winters), but the incessant, inescapable harmonies might evoke depression (Saturn) and a need for intense therapy (Pluto). Yule and Carol also oppose Neptune at 16 Pisces, so a good stiff eggnog to take the edge off those ubiquitous teeth-grating tunes might be in order.

Carol is at station, in an embedded stance, so if you get a particular holiday song stuck in your head, don’t say I didn’t warn you! With asteroid Rudolf nearby at 10 Virgo, also opposed Neptune, don’t be surprised if a certain misfit reindeer features prominently in your dreams, as you endlessly regale yourself internally with his catchy ballad.

It’s probably best to exchange gifts on Christmas Eve or very early in the predawn hours Christmas day, with the Moon going void at 6:18 AM EST on the 25^th. Gifts given on a void Moon may not be appreciated, underused or adapted to an alternate purpose, even exchanged. And plan for that huge Christmas feast at noon, before the Moon moves into Capricorn at 4:45 PM – after all, calories don’t count on a void Moon, right?

But take heart! All good things must come to an end, and so must the holidays, which may conclude with a bang when the Solar Eclipse follows hotly on Christmas night’s midnight bell tolling. As if SAD (Santa Alienation Disorder) isn’t bad enough, we can add eclipse flu to the litany of yuletide complaints this year, along with dyspepsia, dissociation and distemper.

And so, as Tiny Tim observed, “God help us, everyone!”