It’s that time again, the preview of the White House’s upcoming year. Like any other entity, living and breathing or not, the Trump Administration has a “birth” chart, and thus, an annual solar return, which gives us a cosmic weather forecast for the year ahead. This one is cast for 5:30 AM EST on January 21, 2020, in Washington DC. Old Sol isn’t quite as reliable as we’d like, and sometimes returns to his birth degree and minute a day before or after the actual anniversary, in this case, January 20.
Asteroid Astrology: Headlines
January 15, 2020 was yet another bad day for Donald J. Trump. Within hours, the impeachment articles against him had been signed and delivered to the Senate for his trial, and an associate, Lev Parnes, gave a devastating interview confirming the President’s direct involvement in the Ukraine aid-for-dirt shakedown. Trump had previously publically denied knowing Parnas, a statement which apparently insulted his henchman, causing him to flip on the boss.
On Christmas Eve 2019 a Grindr hookup went horribly wrong, when 25-year-old Kevin Bacon (no, not that one) was killed and cannibalized by his date, 50-year-old Mark Latunski. Bacon, a hair stylist who was studying psychology, travelled 25 miles to Latunski’s home, where he was stabbed in the back, then had his throat slit. After his death, his corpse was strung up by the heels from the ceiling, his testicles were removed and eaten by Latunski, whose lawyer is claiming an insanity defense (gee, d’ya think?).
If you recall, it was an assassination that began World War I. Is history about to repeat itself, in the death of Iranian General Qasem Soleimani, killed by a US drone as his convoy exited Baghdad International Airport on 3 January 2020? Soleimani was head of Iran’s elite Quds force, a division of its Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps, primarily involved with extraterritorial military and clandestine operations. Soleimani had coordinated with proxy and client terrorist groups in anti-US actions outside Iran, across the Mid-East, had pioneered the IED attacks, and was responsible, directly or indirectly, for the deaths of countless Americans and local civilians.
“Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition” took on a whole new meaning on December 29, 2019 at the West Freeway Church of Christ in White Settlement, Texas, when a gunman’s six-second rampage ended with a single shot from one of the parishioners, tasked with church security. Two had already been killed and a third wounded when Jack Wilson, a local firearms instructor, shot and killed Keith Kinnunen, 43, who was not a member of the congregation, but was familiar with the church, having been given food several times in the past.
Well, we all know the country is going to shit, but for some reason, as impeachment loomed large on the horizon and his evangelical allies began to desert him, Donald Trump felt the need to call attention to the nation’s true crisis – the need to flush toilets 10 or 15 times to gain the desired result. Far from the four-flusher we already knew him to be, Trump has revealed himself as the much more elusive ten-flusher. And so let’s go down this cosmic rabbit hole, from the sublime impeachment to the ridiculous toilet tantrums, and see where it takes us…