Alex's Asteroid Astrology

OK, this is one for the books! Tem Tarriktar, publisher of “The Mountain Astrologer”, recently approached me with a cosmic challenge – find the asteroidal basis of one of the most bizarre sports-related stories of our time. On June 18^th Kathy McVay was assaulted at a Philadelphia Phillies baseball game by a wild-pitch wiener launched from the team mascot’s hot dog cannon.

McVay, who is currently recovering from a shoulder injury, tried to catch the porky projectile but was unsuccessful. The frankfurter struck her full in the face, knocking off her glasses and giving her a Major League shiner.

You probably wouldn’t expect the cosmos to sit up and pay attention to such a paltry occurrence, but if so, you’d be wrong. So I accepted Tem’s challenge with alacrity, and the cosmos backed me up!

We’re fortunate to be starting with solid bedrock for this story – four PNAs which exactly match or closely approximate key factors in the incident. There’s Kathy, an exact match for the victim’s first name; Fan, describing her relationship to the ball club; Frankfurt, named for the town we get our word “frankfurter”, a hot dog alias, from; and Fanatica, our celestial stand-in for the antagonist of the piece, the Phillie Phanatic, the team mascot who launched the offending charcuterie. We can broaden our parameters slightly with Philae, my usual referent for the City of Brotherly Love, but here an even closer approximation of the team name, the Phillies. (As an asteroid astrologer and thirty-year resident of Philadelphia, it is a continual source of frustration for me that there is no “Philadelphia” asteroid; it’s the fifth largest city in the country, and the birthplace of the nation – get with it, astronomers!).

Citizens Bank Park, home of the Philadelphia Phillies – unsafe for human consumption?

There are also additional “Kathy” referents – statistically speaking, “Kathy” is probably not her given name, but a shortened version of a more formal moniker, such as Katherine. We have asteroids named Katharina and Kathryn which can provide additional clues in our quest to uncover the celestial underpinnings of the Great Hot Dog Caper. There’s also an asteroid Ekaterina, the Russian version of “Katherine”; often foreign language variants will work well as substitutes for English names.

And lastly, a broad range of points which resonate phonetically or culturally to the subject at hand. These include Eyer (for “eye”), Black, Blakee (for “black eye”, essentially combining the previous two), Schein (for “shiner”, a common colloquialism for a black eye), Doga and Dogen, the two asteroids closest to “dog”, for “hot dog”. There’s even an asteroid “Oskar”, a “Meyer”, and a “Wiener”, for Oscar Meyer wieners, perhaps the most well-known hot dog brand in America.

It may seem like a stretch to use these points, but in my experience, asteroids do appear to function well on a phonetic basis, suggesting that part of their power lies in their vibrational frequency when spoken by a human voice. Any word in any language which sounds similar will respond when its heavenly referent is struck by a timely transit, like a tuning fork. Regardless, these points are not the backbone of our story, just confirmatory sidebars that affirm the essential accuracy of our facts.

Kathy McVay, struck by a foul-pitch frankfurter, displays her Major League shiner

So let’s begin. Asteroid Kathy falls at18 Libra, in conjunction with Photographica at 17 Libra, and Ekaterina at 22 Libra. Whenever two PNAs representing the same name are linked in the sky, and especially so by conjunction, there is a “doubling down” effect, a joined resonance wherein the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. As it happens, both these points are also stationary, which further augments their power and importance. Kathy turned direct on June 10^th, and Ekaterina on the 15^th, just three days before the incident. Stations represent metaphoric “turning points” for the individual, so Kathy McVay (and every other Kathy) was primed for some momentous event during the station period, with the potential to change the direction of her life.

Photographica here gives a clue as to what that might involve. Photographica is pictures, paintings, video, any literal image or portrayal, but it is also the “image” one projects, or has thrust upon them. It has to do with publicity, in the “being in the public eye” sense, and increases exposure while providing a slice-of-life moment, not necessarily related to the individual’s normal image, which is governed by the Ascendant. So basically, Kathy was ready for her close-up.

Looking at aspects to Kathy, we can see the areas that she is likely to be reflecting when she gets her 15 minutes of fame. First is the square to Pluto at 20 Capricorn, which puts her in direct contact with a planetary heavy-hitter, something that always increases an asteroid’s profile, visibility, and effectiveness. With Pluto we’re looking at some sort of traumatic event (personally, I think being gob-smacked in the face by a flying frank qualifies, but you can disagree if you wish), perhaps including a component of violence.

The Phillie Phanatic scans the crowd for his next unsuspecting target

Now here’s where it starts to get interesting. This square is actually part of Grand Cross. If we look to the Cancer arm of the pattern, we find asteroid Katherina, one of the “Kathy” clones, at 13 Cancer, exactly with asteroid Frankfurt, named for the town in Germany which gave us the hot dog, AKA the “frankfurter.” Oh, come now, cosmos! How literal can you be?

Well, maybe just a little more literal… Because just a spit away is Mercury at 11 Cancer, ruling news and providing the pattern with another jolt of major planet energy. Right alongside is asteroid America at 14 Cancer – remember the Kathy/Photographica combination? Due to her newsworthy (Mercury) contact with a hot dog (Frankfurt), Kathy McVay (Kathy, Ekaterina, Katharina) had her picture (Photographica) broadcast (Mercury again) all across the nation (America)!

Consider that Mercury also rules the senses, including the eyes, and what do we see just a few steps back from Mercury? Asteroid Eyer at 7 Cancer, helping to pick out just which of Mercury’s senses would be highlighted by the story. Eyer is too wide to be part of the Grand Cross, but it does in its turn oppose Saturn at 6 Capricorn, as do the other Cancer points, lending the flavor of limitation or restriction, perhaps reflecting the shoulder injury which prevented McVay from catching the hot dog in the first place.

The last point in the Grand Cross is rather wide for the Cancer cluster and Kathy, but is closer in orb for Pluto and Ekaterina. This is asteroid Fanatica at 25 Aries, which has a story of its own to tell, without its inclusion in the above pattern. Representing the Phillie Phanatic, the team mascot who lofted that meaty missile, Fanatica is sextile to the Sun at 27 Gemini, also putting the Phanatic in focus for the day, and exactly inconjunct asteroid Philae, for the Phillies, at 25 Virgo. Philae therefore squares the Sun, which is exactly conjoined asteroid Schein – a homonym for the first syllable of that “shiner” McVay received. And how did she get that black eye? From a hot dog, in the astrological form of asteroid Dogen at 20 Pisces, squaring the Sun and opposing Philae, creating a T-Square. Dogen further conjoins Neptune at 16 Pisces; this adds in the element of hospitals – McVay was given an MRI after the incident to ensure she did not have a concussion. Fanatica is also within orb of Uranus, ruling accidents, at 1 Taurus, providing yet another shot of planet juice, and linking the Phillie Phanatic with a mishap of some sort.

The Philadelphia Phillies logo

The term “fan” is short for “fanatic”, so in some sense, McVay is also represented by her fluffy green attacker via Fanatica; they are in essence two halves of the same cosmic coinage. But there is also an asteroid Fan, and it’s just as tapped into the day as the rest. At 0 Leo, Fan conjoins Venus at 5; yes, more high voltage planetary energy involved. These square Uranus mentioned above, eliciting another variation of “accident involving a fan” (specifically a female this time, with Venus present), and also oppose asteroid Black with Achilles at 0 and 1 Aquarius, representing the black eye and a weakness or vulnerability (perhaps that bum shoulder again?), as well as Mars at 8. If you’re keeping score, that’s the eighth major planetary body putting in an appearance in this cast of characters. Mars also rules sporting events, neatly establishing the venue for the accident, and “guns” of every variety, presumably including the hot dog cannon.

But we’re not done yet! Not by a long shot! Remember that fourth “Kathy” variation, Kathryn? She’s at 12 Leo (still within orb of Venus, btw, pinpointing the female fan’s name), in square to asteroid Nemesis at 13 Taurus and a Jupiter/Wiener conjunction at 14 and 17 Scorpio (and if you want to include that 8 Aquarius Mars here for another Grand Cross, it’s OK with me). This grouping again slams us over the head with astrological shorthand for the incident – a woman named Kathy (Kathryn) becomes famous (Jupiter) for being undone (Nemesis) by a hot dog (Wiener)! Jupiter active here makes nine of ten planets with a part to perform; the tenth, the Moon, is unavailable to us because we don’t have a time for the incident.

With or without mustard? Lethal in any form

There’s just four points left to consider: Oskar, Meyer, Doga and Blakee. Incredibly, three of these are in yet another T-Square: Doga at 11 Sagittarius squares an opposition of Blakee at 15 Virgo and Meyer at 13 Pisces. That end of the pattern also incorporates Neptune at 16 Pisces, that hospital trip again, necessitated by the black eye (Blakee) wrought by the hot dog (Doga). Was it an Oscar Meyer wiener (Meyer)? No data is available, but asteroid Oskar at 7 Taurus precisely bridges the gap between Uranus at 1 Taurus (accidents) and Nemesis at 13 (an adversarial or antagonistic force), on their midpoint, so it seems likely. At a minimum, the brand’s popularity and high public profile allows us to use it as a suitable celestial stand-in for any generic hot dog.

Beware, ball fans! He’s still out there…

Although she may not be singing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” anytime soon, Kathy McVay does plan to return to root for the home team at some point in the future. She’s just requesting seats in the nosebleed section.

But it was all in a day’s work for the incredibly creative cosmos, cranking out those physical manifestations of celestial energies, one by one…