Nemesis Archives - Page 2 of 48 - Alex's Asteroid Astrology

August 9th, 2024 at 08:56am by Alex Miller

Asteroid Sleuth: The Case of the Baneful Bulge

On August 3^rd, 2024, aspiring Olympian Anthony Ammirati coined a whole new meaning for the term “cockblocked” after failing to qualify for a pole vault event when his penis collided with the bar on the way down, knocking it to the ground (the bar, not his penis). The embarrassing footage of the phallic fail immediately went viral, and though Olympic authorities later confirmed that Ammirati would have been disqualified regardless, as other, less intimate portions of his anatomy had touched the bar prior to its dickish dislodgment, there was no stopping the cock-a-hoop hilarity that ensued. The French athlete, with no apparent irony, later described the incident as “a big disappointment.” Cheer up, Anthony – a manly manhood has its compensations!

August 5th, 2024 at 09:44am by Alex Miller

Asteroid Sleuth: The Case of the Molested Monument

Italians in Florence were livid after disturbing footage went viral on the internet, of a female tourist simulating sexual acts with a statue of Bacchus, Roman god of wine and revelry, in the streets of Firenze, as the city is known locally. A fully dressed blonde had mounted the plinth that holds a copy of the original sculpture by Giambologna, kissing it lasciviously, then miming fellatio and penetration from the rear. Outraged locals have been outspoken in their condemnation of the incident, revealed in grainy still shots that were captured from the internet, but authorities have not been able to identify the tourist or her friend who took the pictures.

July 25th, 2024 at 08:58am by Alex Miller

Kamala Harris: Born to Succeed?

When Kamala Harris announced her run for president in 2019, she looked like a long shot. And she was, with a troubled campaign that ended before the first primary votes were cast. But looking at her birth chart then, it seemed to me that she was going to get to the Oval Office at some point, however distant. When Joe Biden chose her as his running mate a year later, she took a major step towards that goal, and when they won that November, a giant leap was made.

But there were still a number of hurdles to cross in the race to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, such as waiting her turn after a successful re-elect gave Biden a second term (should that even occur), and then fending off Democratic competition for the open seat in 2028, and winning that election. US Vice Presidents don’t have a compelling track record of succeeding to the office, barring the death of the boss mid-term, and she still faced a strong headwind.

July 20th, 2024 at 10:56am by Alex Miller

The September Surprise: Uranus in Retrograde

The October Surprise has a venerable history in American politics, dating back more than a century, and referring to a sudden, often shocking, unanticipated turn of events which threatens to upend a presidential election. Perhaps the most famous example is October of 1980, when it was announced that the hostages held at the American Embassy in Tehran would not be released before the election, thus further imperiling Jimmy Carter’s hotly contested race with Ronald Reagan (spoiler alert – Carter lost!).

But this year, the October Surprise may come early, with an astrologic flair, as Uranus, the planet of shocks, surprises and the unexpected, will be coming to its retrograde station on September 1^st, perhaps tossing a bombshell into the presidential race. The reason why that may be so is Uranus’ prime placement, occupying 27 Taurus, celestial real estate that strongly impacts both major candidates, as well as VP Kamala Harris and Trump’s running mate, JD Vance. But the most strongly affected will be Joe Biden, with Uranus exactly opposed his Sun at 27 Scorpio. Uranus moves onto the 27^th degree of Taurus on August 8^th, so the fireworks could ensue as early as that.

July 18th, 2024 at 09:26am by Alex Miller

Mr. Bowman Goes to Washington? JD Vance Revealed

OK, yes, somewhat redundant, because JD Vance has been in Washington for 18 months already, since his election to the Senate in 2022. But you all know how much I love punning titles. “Mr. Bowman” is a reference to Vance’s birth name, which was James Donald Bowman. Vance has shifted identities over the course of his life with chameleon-like regularity, becoming James David Hamel as a toddler, after his parents divorced and his mother married Bob Hamel, who adopted him. Vance shed his skin yet again, becoming James David “JD” Vance (his maternal grandfather’s surname) when he married wife Usha in 2014. But the title also conjures images of that Americana utopia crafted by filmmaker Frank Capra, a land which never existed, but which Republicans still insist on trying to revive.

July 15th, 2024 at 09:40am by Alex Miller

Trump Assassination Attempt

“As a man soweth, so shall he reap.” – Galatians 6:7

Former US president Donald Trump, foremost promoter of political violence in America, was injured in an unsuccessful assassination attempt during a campaign rally in Butler, PA on Saturday, 13 July 2024. Nicked in the ear and bloodied by a shooter some 150 yards away, Secret Service agents quickly swarmed on the 2024 GOP presidential nominee, covering him bodily until word came that the shooter was down. At that point Trump was taken to an armed vehicle and whisked from the scene. Several attendees were injured, and one man died, as well as the shooter.