Whitehouse Archives - Page 2 of 24 - Alex's Asteroid Astrology

May 15th, 2024 at 11:22am by Alex Miller

As the Worm Turns: RFK Jr’s Doomed Presidential Bid

The New York Times broke a story on May 8, 2024 that might just explain the antics of presidential hopeful Robert F. Kennedy Jr, currently polling as much as 15-20% in some key battleground states. While Kennedy is unlikely to reach his goal of the Oval Office sans major party affiliation, such numbers, should they materialize at the polls in November, could decisively swing the 2024 election one way or another. The Times story revealed a statement made by Kennedy in 2012, where he alleged that the “brain fog” and memory loss he had experienced two years prior had been “caused by a worm that got into my brain and ate a portion of it and then died.” Well, that explains a lot!

April 30th, 2024 at 09:41am by Alex Miller

Asteroid Sleuth: The Case of the Gruesome Governor

South Dakota Governor and 2024 Republican Vice-Presidential nominee hopeful Kristi Noem was splashed across the news in late April, when an advance copy of her new book, “No Going Back” was obtained by The Guardian. In it, Noem recounts the story of how she executed her 14-month-old wirehaired pointer puppy Cricket, after she had proved herself to be irrepressibly joyful and an inadequate hunting dog. Two being better than one, Noem went on to slay a family goat that was smelly and had been annoying her and her children with head butts.

April 26th, 2024 at 03:35pm by Alex Miller

A Pecker in the Hand Is Worth Two in the Box

The witness box, that is. And the pecker in question is David Pecker, National Enquirer publisher, long-time Trump friend and political ally, and currently exhibit A in the Manhattan DA’s criminal case against the former US president. Everybody knew that Pecker, once he’d gone soft on Trump, was gonna spew, but nobody knew how hard he could make it for The Donald. (And that’s the last of the cheap double entendres you’ll get from me in this article. Maybe.)

April 17th, 2024 at 09:08am by Alex Miller

Trump Trial #1 Begins

The first of Donald Trump’s four pending criminal trials began on Monday, 15 April 2024, with jury selection. Perhaps not coincidentally, it was also Tax Day, and without doubt, the ordeal of Trump on trial will be taxing for us all. Trump kicked off the event with a series of his trademark untruths as he bloviated to reporters before entering the Manhattan courtroom for his trial’s appointed start time of 9:30 AM EDT. The former president characterized the proceedings as “persecution,” “an attack on a political opponent,” and “an assault on America,” averring that “every legal scholar says this case is nonsense” and an “outrage.”

None of that is true, but Trump did state one accurate fact: “Nothing like this has ever happened before, there’s never been anything like it.” Indeed, this is the first criminal prosecution of a former US president and current presidential candidate in history. Congrats, Donnie! You’ve just set two new records!

March 8th, 2024 at 10:05am by Alex Miller

Happy Birthday, SCOTUS!

The Supreme Court of the United States (AKA SCOTUS) just had a birthday! Established by the Judiciary Act of 1789, the Court turned 235 on March 4, 2024 (and she doesn’t look a day over 200!). The Court’s motto is “Equal Justice Under the Law,” but for much of its chequered history it may as well have been, “Often Wrong, But Never in Doubt.” We don’t have to go as far back as the 1857 “Dred Scott” decision (which found that the U.S. Constitution did not extend American citizenship to people of black African descent) to find a real head-scratcher. More recent examples include “Heller” in 2008, which confirmed the Second Amendment gun rights free-for-all; “Citizens United” in 2010, which granted corporations the same free speech rights as individuals regarding political spending; or the 2022 ruling in “Dobbs” which eliminated nationwide reproductive health rights (though to be fair, it was also SCOTUS that confirmed those rights, in 1973’s “Roe v Wade”).

February 26th, 2024 at 08:31am by Alex Miller

Judgment Day: The Trump Civil Business Fraud Trial Penalty

On Friday, 16 February 2024, the long-awaited judgment in the Trump civil business fraud trial was handed down. Judge Arthur Engoron slammed the Trump Organization with $354 million in fines, also personally fining Donald Trump Jr and Eric Trump $4 million each. Also due, interest on the funds, currently at some $100 million, which continues to accrue until the penalty is paid, for a whopping total of some $450 million. Included in the judgment, Judge Engoron barred Trump Sr “from serving as an officer or director of any New York corporation or other legal entity in New York for a period of three years,” further banning his sons for two years.