The 2024 DNC kicked off in Chicago on 19 August, under very different circumstances than those under which it was conceived and planned. Originally intended as a re-up ceremony for incumbent US President Joe Biden, likely a fairly sedate affair (given his age and the flagging poll numbers in the race against Donald Trump), after the former withdrew from the race and passed the baton to VP Kamala Harris, things changed dramatically.
On 28 July 2024, Venezuela held a national election, voting for a six-year term for president, beginning in January 2025. Nicolas Maduro, the two-term authoritarian president, was running for a third term, and to stack the deck, the administration barred many in the opposition from even running for office, including leading candidate Maria Corina Machado. Edmondo Gonzalez Urrutia ran in her stead, representing the Unitary Platform party, the main opposition political alliance.
On August 3rd, 2024, aspiring Olympian Anthony Ammirati coined a whole new meaning for the term “cockblocked” after failing to qualify for a pole vault event when his penis collided with the bar on the way down, knocking it to the ground (the bar, not his penis). The embarrassing footage of the phallic fail immediately went viral, and though Olympic authorities later confirmed that Ammirati would have been disqualified regardless, as other, less intimate portions of his anatomy had touched the bar prior to its dickish dislodgment, there was no stopping the cock-a-hoop hilarity that ensued. The French athlete, with no apparent irony, later described the incident as “a big disappointment.” Cheer up, Anthony – a manly manhood has its compensations!
When Kamala Harris announced her run for president in 2019, she looked like a long shot. And she was, with a troubled campaign that ended before the first primary votes were cast. But looking at her birth chart then, it seemed to me that she was going to get to the Oval Office at some point, however distant. When Joe Biden chose her as his running mate a year later, she took a major step towards that goal, and when they won that November, a giant leap was made.
But there were still a number of hurdles to cross in the race to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, such as waiting her turn after a successful re-elect gave Biden a second term (should that even occur), and then fending off Democratic competition for the open seat in 2028, and winning that election. US Vice Presidents don’t have a compelling track record of succeeding to the office, barring the death of the boss mid-term, and she still faced a strong headwind.
“Step right up, ladies and gentlemen! Step right up to the Greatest Shitshow on Earth! Ya pays your money, ya takes your chance! What will it be? Who will you choose – the Felon or the Feeb?” So says the Cosmic Carnival Barker to promote the first (and now likely only) 2024 US Presidential debate. For incumbent Joe Biden, it was an unmitigated disaster, which is an apt word for an astrologer to use, since its literal meaning is “against the stars.”
It was the shove watched ‘round the world. On Saturday, 1 June 2024, at a WNBA contest between the Chicago Sky and the Indiana Fever, Sky guard Chennedy Carter gave a superfluous shoulder shove to Fever rookie phenom Caitlin Clark, knocking her to the floor. Clark was not in possession of the ball at the time, and the foul, later upgraded to “flagrant-1,” made local and national news across the country. Carter’s teammate Angel Reese, a former college rival of Clark’s, was seen to leap off the bench and clap at the infraction; later, she decked Clark herself with an illegal elbow move that wasn’t called by the refs. After the game, Reese was fined $1000 for failing to make herself available to the media. Despite the interference, the Indiana Fever came out on top, 71-70, with Clark adding eleven points to the scoreboard.
