A number of moments, before and during the coronation of Charles III, deserve special mention and analysis. Here, then, is my personal journal of the events surrounding the occasion, from the sublime to the ridiculous.
CHARLIE & THE CHOCOLATE FAKERY
On Wednesday 26 April 2023, the coronation received a sweet kickoff with the display of a larger-than-life bust of the new King, made entirely of chocolate. Some 4.5 gallons of melted chocolate were used by master chocolatier Jennifer Lindsey-Clarke and her team, who spent 130 hours over a month-long period to craft the mouthwatering Majesty. Sponsored by Celebrations chocolates, a division of Mars Wrigley UK, actual individual candies by Twix and Milky Way were used to simulate the braiding and decorations on the confectionary sovereign’s uniform.
The press release was celestially heralded by a remarkable Grand Cross featuring the asteroid King 2305 at 19 Taurus, accompanied by Mercury (the press release itself) at 14 Taurus, and Uranus (unconventional modes of expression) at 18 Taurus, opposed asteroid Jennifer 6249 (for creator Jennifer Lindsey-Clarke) at 19 Scorpio, with the crossbars formed by asteroid Candy 3015 at 12 Aquarius opposed asteroids Britten 4079 (homophone of Britain) at 9 Leo, Rey 13649 (Spanish for king) and Sweet 11727, both at 12 Leo.
Further cosmic confectional confirmation was offered by asteroid Clarke 4923 (again for Lindsey-Clarke) at 18 Aries conjoined Jupiter (ruling kings and royalty generally) at 25 Aries, squared Mars (ruling the military uniform on the bust) at 16 Cancer. Lindsey-Clarke’s mastery of the medium is suggested by asteroid Lindsay 31684 (alternate spelling of Lindsey) at 2 Pisces conjunct Saturn (mastery) at 5 Pisces, opposed a conjunction of stationing bodies asteroids Charlier (for Charles) and Choate (contraction of “cho(col)ate”?), both at 7 Virgo. The retrograde Charlier and Choate edged into the last minutes of 6 Virgo before resuming direct motion, Charlier one day after the sweet unveiling, Choate three days later.
PENILE CODE VIOLATION
On May 4th, less than 48 hours before the Big Event, residents of Bath, England awoke to a startling representation of their new King’s virility and power – pranksters had mowed an image of an enormous erect penis into the lawn of the Royal Crescent, where coronation celebrations were scheduled. The 30-foot phallus-y was achieved by close-cutting the greensward with astounding precision, and is only clearly visible from above, akin to alien crop circles.
All we can say is, “Nice scepter, Chuck!”
Of course, this moment had to have a celestial commemoration, right?
Right. A number of penis euphemisms have found their way into the asteroid lexicon, and are well represented in a chart for the erection of the manly monument. The verdant Royal Member is depicted in several ways, including a pairing of asteroid King at 23 Taurus with asteroid Green 12016 at 24 Taurus, and shocking, controversial, iconoclastic Uranus nearby at 18 Taurus. This grouping trines a conjunction of asteroids Pecker 1629 (a common penis euphemism) and Charlois 1510 (for Charles) at 22 Capricorn, establishing just whose grassy groin is being portrayed (Pecker/Charlois also opposes Mars at 21 Cancer, ruling genitalia). Speaking of grass, asteroid Grass 11496 at 3 Virgo conjoins Charles stand-in Charlier at 7 Virgo, both opposing Saturn, as head-of-state, at 5 Pisces.
They say one man’s art is another man’s junk, and the cosmos seems to concur with this double entendre, placing Venus at 26 Gemini, ruling artistic endeavor and adornment, opposite asteroid Wiener 18182 at 21 Sagittarius, flanked by placename referents Bathilde 441 at 16 Sagittarius and Bathsheba 592 at 29 Sagittarius, both identifying Bath as the site of the Royal Rod. The scandal excited by this ballsy genital greenery is conveyed by asteroid Dick 17458 at 2 Leo opposed Pluto at 0 Aquarius.
Not to be outdone, a T-Square of asteroid Dong 150520 (yet another penis euphemism) at 5 Cancer opposed asteroid Charlene 5878 (yet another Charles stand-in) at 9 Capricorn finds asteroids Crescentia 660 (for the Royal Crescent venue) and Mowers 23833 (for the intrepid pranksters) at 0 and 7 Aries on the fulcrum.
Charles himself may be to blame for this odd tribute, with a natal chart that arouses suspicions of a cosmic conception to the proceedings. Born 9:14 PM GMT on 14 November 1948 in London, England (Rodden rating A), the new king sports a variety of markers of his eventual sodding memorial. A conjunction of asteroids Pecker and Crescentia at 24 and 25 Virgo, squared asteroid Mowers at 22 Sagittarius, prefigures the pranksters (Mowers), their field of action (Crescentia) and subject matter (Pecker).
A T-Square of asteroid Wiener at 11 Aries opposed asteroid Green at 14 Libra, with asteroid Bathilde on the fulcrum at 10 Capricorn, sets the stage for the tacky khaki (Green) phallus (Wiener) at the resort town (Bath). And a Bowl Pattern has a rim formed from an opposition of asteroid Dong at 23 Libra to asteroid Batth 11176 (our final referent for Bath) at 20 Aries, with matching sextile increments to asteroids Mowers at 22 Sagittarius and Grass at 22 Aquarius forming the base of the Bowl, and bringing together all the seminal elements of this story.
THE REIGN MAKER
Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby may be seen as the “master of ceremonies” of the coronation, directing the proceedings in Westminster Abbey over a protracted two-hour ritual dating back to the first millennium. We see this celestially as asteroid Canterbury 3563, which at 5 Capricorn is stationary, making the Archbishop the still point upon which the event revolves, a major focus of the day. Canterbury turns retrograde May 10th, and is accompanied by asteroids Church 10343 (for the Abbey setting) at 29 Sagittarius and asteroid Charlene 5878 (feminine version of Charles) at 9 Capricorn, also stationary (turning retro May 11th). Justin Welby’s preeminent place is confirmed with asteroid Justino 230631 at 4 Leo, conjoined the 6 Leo Ascendant, its public face, for the official start of the ceremony at 11 AM BST.
Justin Welby, Archbishop of Canterbury (right), officiated the coronation, with asteroid Justino conjunct the Ascendant of the ceremony, and asteroid Canterbury at station, conjoined asteroids Church and Charlene (for Charles)
Details of that overarching chart can be found in a separate article, but we’ll watch the Angles change as the day unfolded in this one. The procession to the Abbey began at Buckingham Palace at 10:20 AM BST, with the King and Queen Consort riding in the decade-old Diamond Jubilee Coach, created for the sixtieth anniversary of Elizabeth II’s reign, which is climate-controlled and a more comfortable ride than the traditional Gold State Coach. The Ascendant at 29 Cancer may have been a cosmic nod to the end of 70 years of maternal (Cancer) rule. The MC at 4 Aries touches off Charles’ natal T-Square of Sun at 22 Scorpio, asteroid King at 21 Taurus, and asteroid Charlotte at 21 Leo, by semisquare and sesquiquadrate.
The anointing with sacred oil pressed from olives grown on Jerusalem’s Mount of Olives is the one element of the ceremony never filmed, the moment when the Sovereign’s bond with Divine Right is cemented. In this instance, special screens were brought to surround and obscure the anointing, emblazoned with a tree image whose leaves were named for each of the multitude of nations and territories over which Charles will now reign. Thus we can’t be certain of the exact time, but 11:51 AM BST is a good approximation, at which point the Ascendant at 15 Leo had moved to closely conjoin the 13 Leo placement of asteroid Rey 13647, Spanish for “king,” also conjunct Charles’ natal Pluto at 16 Leo, as he comes into his full power. The MC at 28 Aries closely squares his natal TNO Albion 15760 at 27 Capricorn, an ancient name for Britain, his kingdom. (Even the olive oil makes an appearance, in the form of asteroid Olivas 118769 – for olive – at 29 Aquarius, conjoined Saturn – Charles’ earthly authority, derived from God and endorsed by the anointing – at 5 Pisces, which exactly squares asteroid Oileus 9907 – for oil – at 5 Gemini; a T-Square is completed with Olivas’s opposition to asteroid Golden 4423 at 28 Leo, representing the eagle-shaped gold Ampulla used to hold the oil before use.)
The actual crowning and acclamation came at 12:02 PM BST, with the Ascendant moved to 17 Leo and the MC to 1 Taurus, now opposing asteroid Koronis 158 (Latin for “crown”) at 6 Scorpio and conjoining Charles’ natal Moon at 0 Taurus.
Camilla’s turn came at 12:15 PM BST, when her crowning transformed her from Queen Consort to simply “Queen Camilla.” The Ascendant at 19 Leo opposed natal asteroid Queen’s 5457 at 20 Aquarius, with the MC at 4 Taurus now exactly T-Squared her natal Horizontal Axis at 4 Leo/Scorpio, forever altering her public image (4 Leo Ascendant).
Camilla’s fitness for the job may have raised eyebrows when she and Charles first met and fell in love fifty-plus years ago, but her birth chart suggests she’s more than ready for the role. Born 7:10 AM BDST on 17 July 1947 in London, England (Rodden rating B), Camilla’s 23 Cancer Sun opposes TNO Albion, an ancient name for Britain, and asteroid Thronium, for “throne,” at 26 and 18 Capricorn respectively, suggesting she was destined to become queen of the sceptered isle one day. A T-Square with asteroid Charlotte (feminine form of Charles) at 27 Aries identifies whose queen she’d be.
Additional celestial confirmation comes in the form of a Grand Cross with an exact pairing of asteroids Charlene (another Charles marker) and Britten (homophone of Britain) at 12 Taurus opposed asteroid Roy (Old French for “king”) and Jupiter (ruling royalty) at 16 and 17 Leo, squared by asteroids King and Queen’s at 10 and 20 Aquarius opposed a Saturn/Pluto conjunction at 9 and 12 Leo, conferring worldly status (Saturn) and power (Pluto). The transit Sun at 15 Taurus for the coronation had just conjoined that natal Charlene/Britten combination, while transit Regina at 11 Virgo retrograde had recently returned to its natal degree of 18 Virgo, itself at the fulcrum of a T-Square with asteroid Rey at 16 Gemini and asteroid Juno at 18 Sagittarius, named for the Roman goddess of marriage. This depicts a marital union (Juno) with a king (Rey) which makes her a queen (Regina).
The recessional from the Abbey, accompanied by the strains of “God Save the King” sung by choir and congregation, came at 12:57 PM, with the Ascendant at 27 Leo, moving to conjoin asteroid Golden at 28 Leo, as the King and Queen proceeded to enter the Gold State Coach for their return trip to Buckingham Palace. The MC at 1 Taurus exactly conjoined the transit Sun, at its zenith, albeit hidden behind clouds.
When Charles and Camilla first appeared on the balcony at Buckingham Palace at 1:52 PM BST, that famed royal post-celebration gathering place, the 6 Virgo Ascendant had come to conjoin the day’s Charlier/Regina conjunction at 7 and 11 Virgo, signaling the new public face (Ascendant) of the monarchy. The 29 Taurus MC was set to conjoin asteroid Roy 14533, Old French for “king,” at 0 Gemini.
BROTHER, CAN YOU ‘SPARE’ THE TIME?
Some familiar royal faces were absent from the coronation festivities, or made only a brief appearance at the Abbey before retiring from the public eye. Most notably the new King’s brother, Prince Andrew, Duke of York, was excluded from the ubiquitous Buckingham Palace balcony crowd and subsequent rejoicing, in the aftermath of yet more sex scandals, as was Charles’ second son, Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, who also beat a hasty retreat after the ceremony. The expatriate prince, now a California resident, spent less than 24 hours in the UK for his father’s coronation, his relations with the family being strained by the recent release of his tell-all royalty-trashing biography, “Spare” (an allusion to the phrase “an heir and a spare,” encapsulating the advisability of a second son as a backstop to dynasty extinction; should the elder brother, the “heir”, predecease their father, the “spare” is there to carry on). Duchess Meghan never made it across the pond at all, electing instead to remain with their son Archie, whose fourth birthday coincided with the coronation date.
These Royal Duke’s persona non grata status is reflected in asteroid Duke 20037 at 11 Pisces, conjoined Saturn at 5 Pisces and squared asteroid NOT 2857 at 4 Gemini. Saturn can reflect punishment, diminution or loss, while NOT acts as a general disqualifier or signature of absence. Asteroid Henry 1516 (Prince Harry’s given first name) also broadly squares NOT from 13 Virgo, and asteroid Andree 1296 (closest to Andrew) at 2 Aries conjoins Neptune at 26 Pisces, a point which can often make one feel invisible.
One former Royal who wasn’t there, but whom many thought ought to have been, was the late Diana, Princess of Wales, Charles’ first wife. The cosmos seems to have planned for her to attend in a prominent role – asteroid Diana 78 falls at 14 Taurus in the coronation chart, conjoined Carol and the Sun. Had the couple not parted ways, Diana would have been there, the co-equal center of attention with her husband, perhaps even eclipsing him. But asteroid Diana was itself obscured by a Lunar Eclipse the day before at 14 Scorpio, exactly opposed by the Moon, signifying the blotting out of that potential consort role. It’s fascinating to contemplate that Fate was well-prepared for her active participation in the coronation, had Free Will not intervened.
If looks could kill. Of course the late Princess Diana wasn’t at the ceremony, but the cosmos clearly intended her to be, with asteroid Diana conjunct both the Sun and asteroid Carol (Latin for Charles); unfortunately, asteroid Diana was eclipsed the day before, leaving no trace of her presence