Alex's Asteroid Astrology

Folks, this story is the shit!  Literally.  In the late morning of 13 June 2024, two men died in a manure tanker accident at Champion Dairy Farm in Kirkland, NY; both were volunteer firefighters.  Nathan Doody, 33, was attempting to retrieve a piece of equipment that had fallen into the tanker, became overcome with fumes from the fermenting feces, and fell into the tank.  Coworker Tyler Memory, 29, tried to assist, but also swooned and fell.  Farm personnel called 911, the pair were recovered and medevacked to Wynn Hospital in nearby Utica, where they were pronounced dead.

Unfortunately, though obituaries for both men are available, no birthdates are included, but we do have an approximate time of 11:05 AM EDT for the incident.  A chart cast for that time in Kirkland certainly reflects the circumstances, given the right input, and I apologize in advance for the callous humor of this interpretation.  I mean, the man’s name was “doody,” and he died in excrement!  Did you really expect my Scorpio Rising to let that one sit?

For victim Nathan Doody we have asteroids Nathaniel 25258 for Nathan and Dodo 6336 for Doody (maybe a stretch, but both are extinct, right?); Tyler Memory is represented by asteroids Tyler 11333 and Memoria 1247 (Latin for “memory”).  Asteroid Fireman 4231 also reps both men, as volunteer firefighters.  The incident occurred at Champion Farms on Champion Road, seen as asteroids Champion 8732 and Farmer 6271; in Kirkland, NY, also exactly matched with asteroid Kirkland 19589; the holding tank can be seen as asteroid Tankanran 26549.  Asteroid referents for feces abound, if somewhat laterally. 

Asteroid Manu 29353 is closest to “manure;” asteroid Heco 19156 relates to the Spanish heces, “feces;” asteroid Koten 77621 is related to the German kot, “feces;” asteroid Lortzing 16418 relates to Danish lort, “shit;” asteroid Cacus 161989, is related to the Spanish caca, “poop;” and asteroid Scattolin 198450, with the same root, scat, as in scatology (the study of fossil excrement; also, an obsession with excrement or obscenity) or scatophilia (trust me, you don’t want the definition of that!).  Cows are the underlying perps of this tragedy at a dairy farm, and can be seen as asteroids Vacchi 7600 (a cowherd, derived from the Spanish vaca, “cow”); Vachier 230151 (also cowherd, in French); Kuhner 43813 (after the German kuh, “cow”); and Mucha 5122 (after the Italian mucca, “cow”).

Let’s dig in.

For starters, the 11:05 AM time yields a Midheaven of 25 Taurus, conjoined by Uranus at 24 Taurus and asteroid Champion at 28 Taurus, opposed asteroids Rip 7711 and Mucha at 23 and 25 Scorpio, on the 25 Scorpio IC.  This is plain astrologese for a highly visible (Midheaven) fatal (Rip, as in “RIP,” Rest In Peace) accident (Uranus) somehow involving cows (Mucha) at Champion Farm (Champion).

Reinforcing this, we have asteroids Tankanran and Kirkland at 4 and 6 Virgo, conjoined the 1 Virgo Ascendant, opposed Damocles 5335 with asteroid Koten at 5 and 6 Pisces on the 1 Pisces Descendant, also conjoined by asteroid Anubis 1912 at 29 Aquarius, named for the Egyptian deity governing funerary rites.  This reads as a tank (Tankanran) of poop (Koten) which poses a serious threat (Damocles) of death (Anubis) in Kirkland, NY (Kirkland).

Just there, between the four Angles, we see the story laid out before us.  But the cosmos loves to gild the lily, so on we go.

That Horizontal Axis forms a T-Square with a grouping of Jupiter at 4 Gemini and asteroids Lachesis 120 and Karma 3811 at 7 and 9 Gemini.  Karma is fate; Lachesis is named for the mythic Greek Fate who determines the span of life; Jupiter brings fame and celebrity, albeit posthumously, and for all the wrong reasons, in this instance.

The Sun at 22 Gemini conjoins Mercury at 21 Gemini and asteroids Fireman at 23 Gemini and Dodo at 28 Gemini, in a Grand Cross with squares to asteroid Nathaniel, Saturn and Neptune at 18, 19 and 29 Pisces and asteroid Manu at 18 Virgo, opposed asteroid Lortzing at 29 Sagittarius.  The event is newsworthy (Mercury), with a focus (Sun) on volunteer firefighters (Fireman) overcome by toxic fumes (Neptune) from excrement (Manu, Lortzing), specifically signaling the demise (Saturn, ancient lord of death) of Nathan (Nathaniel) Doody (Dodo).  The Sun is also trine to asteroid Heco (feces) at 27 Libra, the only point at station, having turned direct the day before the accident, making shit a pervasive energy of the timeframe.

Asteroid Dodo also conjoins asteroid Atropos 273 at 2 Cancer, named for the mythic Greek Fate who severs the thread of life at death, and opposes asteroids Farmer and Kuhner at 3 and 9 Capricorn.  This depicts Doody’s (Dodo) death (Atropos) at a dairy (Kuhner, cow) farm (Farmer).

Second victim Tyler Memory appears as asteroid Tyler, which at 18 Cancer conjoins asteroids Cacus (poop) and Vachier (cowherd) at 15 and 17 Cancer, and ties to the mutable T-Square by semisquare to Ascendant/Tankanran/Kirkland and Jupiter, and sesquiquadrate to Descendant/Damocles/Koten.  Asteroid Memoria (for Memory) at 11 Leo conjoins asteroid Nemesis 128 at 13 Leo, a point of ruin or destruction, often self-created (Memory went to the aid of his coworker), squaring asteroid Vacchi (cowherd) at 12 Scorpio.  Memoria is also semisquare asteroid Dodo, celestially linking the two men, and falls at the Apex of a Thor’s Hammer, a fated pattern similar to a Yod, with sesquiquadrates to both asteroid Lortzing and Neptune (excrement fumes).

A final marker of the potentially fatal nature of manure for the day is seen as Pluto (modern lord of death, also modern ruler of defecation) at 1 Aquarius, conjunct asteroid Osiris 1923 at 4 Aquarius, named for the ancient Egyptian god of the dead; opposed asteroid Scattolin at 0 Leo (with its scat/shit connotations); and forming a T-Square with Mars (associated with elimination, via its rulership of Scorpio) at 3 Taurus and asteroid Requiem 2254 at 8 Taurus, named for the funeral mass for the dead.

Yes, even in stories as bizarre as this, the cosmos shows up, in ways both weird and wonderful.  I shit you not!