Asteroid Sleuth: The Case of the Frank-Filching Fox
On 11 May 2026, Royal Canadian Mounted Police in Blairsville, Alberta, Canada spotted a red fox absconding with a half-dozen hot dogs in its mouth. Although the Mounties always get their man, the clever vulpine eluded them. The out-foxed constable witnessed the animal in a wooded neighborhood, but without a specific complaint, was unable to do more than watch as the fox greedily gulped the evidence against him. Reports do not specify which condiments were preferred for the cookout contraband, stating only that the fox ate them with relish.
The image of the backyard bandit was posted on the RCMP social media account, to warn citizens of the rise in vulpine crime. RCMP spokesperson Corporal Mathew Howell decried the shocking erosion in fox morals, enjoining backyard cooks to be on high alert for vulpine vagrants, further stating, “We hope everyone is kicking off BBQ season safely!”
The cosmos quite properly took note of this disturbing deli meat development. Asteroid Fox 16248 at 16 Gemini conjoins Venus at 20 Gemini, and is semisquare asteroid Frankfurt 204852 at 29 Aries, named for the German city that gave the frankfurter (AKA “hot dog”) its name. Frankfurt also conjoins Mars at 24 Aries, ruler of theft. The inclusion of Venus may indicate that the stolen franks were intended as a love offering for his mate.
But the real action is seen with asteroid Vulpius 162001, with “vulpis” the Latin word for “fox.” At 5 Libra, Vulpius conjoins asteroid Albert 719 at 9 Libra, identifying the misguided mammalian miscreant’s stomping grounds as Alberta. Vulpius also appears at the Apex of two major patterns: a Yod, with inconjunct aspects to both Frankfurt and asteroid Hermes 69230 at 0 Pisces, named for the Greek version of Mercury, noted as patron of thieves. And a Thor’s Hammer, with sesquiquadrate aspects to asteroid Polizzi at 18 Aquarius (cognate to German Polizei and Italian Polizia, both meaning “police”) and the Sun at 20 Taurus (exactly), which are squared each other. The Sun also conjoins Mercury at 17 Sagittarius, said to rule foxes, placed in the spotlight for this brazen backyard heist by the solar conjunction. Vulpius is also exactly trine Pluto at 5 Aquarius, ruler of criminal acts.
Not satisfied with this overwhelming evidence of the fox’s ill intent, the cosmos incudes Vulpius in yet another major pattern, a T-Square formed by its opposition to a conjunction of Neptune (guile, subterfuge) and Saturn (loss), with asteroid Wiener 18182, another common term for hot dogs, on the fulcrum at 10 Cancer.
RCMP spokesperson Mathew Howell (seriously? as in “howl?”) appears as asteroid Mathieu 1592, which at 14 Taurus conjoins Mercury (spokesman) and the Sun; and asteroid Howell 15091 at 6 Taurus, conjunct Frankfurt, inconjunct Vulpius, and squared Pluto.
Title Image Credit: drawn by Chat GPT
