Salacia Archives - Alex's Asteroid Astrology

October 24th, 2025 at 08:43am by Alex Miller

Asteroid Sleuth: The Case of the Detained Dick

At a “No Kings” rally in Fairhope, Alabama on Saturday, 18 October 2025, a 61-year-old-woman in a huge inflatable penis costume, draped in an American flag, carrying a sign reading “No Dick-Tator,” was arrested by police, after refusing to remove the outfit, which authorities deemed “obscene.” Jeana Gamble was charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest after it took three policemen to wrestle her to the ground and apply the cockring. Errr, handcuffs. There is no reporting on whether pistols were pulled out and cocked. Bystanders suggested the cops had bitten off more than they could chew.

August 21st, 2025 at 09:12am by Alex Miller

New Prince Andrew Bio Sends Royal Shockwaves

In his new royal biography, “Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York,” released 14 August 2025, author Andrew Lownie thoroughly exposes and consistently trashes HRH Prince Andrew, Duke of York, Queen Elizabeth II’s second son. Andrew is mercilessly depicted as arrogant, self-serving and in denial about his links to the sex offender Jeffrey Epstein. In 2021, one of Epstein’s many victims, Virginia Guiffre, brought a civil suit against Andrew, to whom she alleged Epstein had trafficked her at age 17. The suit was settled out of court in March 2022 for a reported $16 million, with a substantial portion of the award to go to Giuffre’s sex trafficking charity.

November 24th, 2024 at 09:35am by Alex Miller

Barbarians at the Gaetz

Donald Trump’s post-electoral Retribution Tour hit a snag on November 21^st, when Attorney General nominee Matt Gaetz suddenly withdrew from consideration in the wake of some GOP-generated heat in defiance of his candidacy. Withdrawal is something Gaetz knows a bit about, with the primary scandal in which he’s embroiled involving his attendance at drug-fueled sex parties with underage partners.

Trump nominated Gaetz, himself a subject of a years-long federal criminal investigation and a House Ethics Committee report, on November 13^th, along with a spate of controversial nominees, such as Fox & Friends weekend anchor Pete Hegseth for Defense; Bashar Al-Assad and Vladimir Putin apologist Tulsi Gabbard as Director of National Intelligence; and vaccine skeptic and conspiracy theorist extraordinaire Robert F. Kennedy Jr to head Health and Human Services. If these choices seem “out-of-the-box,” consider that asteroid Troemper 2813 at 11 Leo (our celestial referent for The Donald) is currently travelling arm-in-arm with asteroid Pandora 55 at 10 Leo, noted mythically as the hapless naif who, against good advice, opened a box containing all the evils of the world, thus releasing them. Archetypally, there are no cosmic accidents.

November 16th, 2024 at 12:53pm by Alex Miller

Scandal in the Cathedral: The Resignation of Justin Welby

On 12 November, 2024 Justin Welby, Archbishop of Canterbury and spiritual leader of the 85-million souls in the global Anglican Communion, resigned after a Church of England investigation report was released, which found that he failed in his duty to tell police about serial physical, psychological and sexual abuse by a staff member at the Iwerne Christian summer camps, as soon as he was made aware of it. The scandal had been building for nearly a week after the report’s release, with calls for accountability from Welby increasing daily.

September 23rd, 2024 at 09:01am by Alex Miller

Sean “Diddy” Combs Arrested

On 17 September 2024, rapper and recording mogul Sean “Diddy” Combs (AKA Puffy, Puff, and Puff Daddy, at various points in his career) was arrested on federal charges of racketeering conspiracy, sex trafficking, and transportation to engage in prostitution. The charges largely stem from Combs’ infamous “freak-offs,” coerced sex acts performed by sex workers which Combs allegedly orchestrated and filmed, in marathon sessions lasting for days, fueled by drugs which kept performers compliant. Combs has been denied bail as a flight risk, and remains incarcerated.

August 5th, 2024 at 09:44am by Alex Miller

Asteroid Sleuth: The Case of the Molested Monument

Italians in Florence were livid after disturbing footage went viral on the internet, of a female tourist simulating sexual acts with a statue of Bacchus, Roman god of wine and revelry, in the streets of Firenze, as the city is known locally. A fully dressed blonde had mounted the plinth that holds a copy of the original sculpture by Giambologna, kissing it lasciviously, then miming fellatio and penetration from the rear. Outraged locals have been outspoken in their condemnation of the incident, revealed in grainy still shots that were captured from the internet, but authorities have not been able to identify the tourist or her friend who took the pictures.